A quick question before we kick this thing off. Has anybody seen the buy rates for the last WCW PPV? Just curious as it seems to me that I should have seen them by now. I only mention it because I wanted to use them for my last column, one way or the other.

No conspiracy theories here. Nope, none to be found. Not today. Uh uh. **snicker**

OK, so the last column dealt with reality, so this time I'm going to head off to fantasy land. (If you look to your left you will see Vince Russo's permanent abode.)

I have been giving a lot of thought to the plight of WCW, and my own personal ideas on what I would do. Hey, over there in the corner. Isn't that Rod Serling? What do you mean I'm now in charge of the WCW? I have full authority to do what I want to do to make this work? OK, here we go.

1. Change the name of the organization. There are a lot of hard feelings, and bad memories associated with WCW. Cast about for a new name. Nothing too cute. Perhaps American Wrestling Federation? See if the name American Wrestling Alliance is available. Get as far away from WCW as possible.

2. Roster changes. Gimmicks are to be flushed and all wrestlers given total control over their own gimmick. Gimmicks and names will reflect good taste. Such names as "Dick Chixadore", "Studley Hungwell", "Heywood Jablome" and other sophomoric names will be immediately discarded.

3. Booker duties will be given to somebody with integrity. I am looking for somebody with a strong sense of tradition, however a willingness to pay attention to what is over with the crowd. Perhaps Vern Gagne is available? Align with Stu Hart and Stampede? Vince Russo, Eric Bischoff, and the Kevin twins are personnae non-grata.

4. Use the veterans wisely. Veterans are best suited to helping establish the young talent. Granted, veterans have a proven track record, but they need to ensure the up and comers are prepared to handle the task of carrying the fed. When the time comes for the veteran to step aside, he will be moved into either a management position, or a development position. No veteran will be used as a jotfs. They have paid their dues, and as such deserve the benefits thereof. However, they should not become complacent and attempt to hold down the young talent.

5. Remember, we are an influence on the next generation, whether we want to acknowledge it or not. Therefore, we will strive to provide sports entertainment without lowering ourselves to sexual innuendo, drug abuse is not to be tolerated.

6. Wrestlers are to be treated as the valued employees they are. Without wrestlers, we have no company. However, we must also remember, without fans we have no reason for wrestlers. Neither are to be taken advantage of, nor taken for granted.

7. Sports entertainment may be the new name for the product, but wrestling is still our business. Give the fans clean finishes, they don't expect it any more. If two wrestlers are equally deserving of a push, and are wrestling each other, then use the time limit draw.

Remember, these are just my own opinion. I have no insight other than what I would like to see. Will they? I wouldn't count on it.

In a quick shout out to our Marvellous Martin, this is Rowdy Jerry McRoot closing with , (Insert terrible Scottish Accent here) "Hey WCW, WHAT'S YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?"